Lately, I’ve been posting original writings of mine that perhaps don’t transfer as well to the blog format..

For those of you looking for something light, funny and debatable to read, I present….

The All-Suck Ohio State Football Team

(caveat: Yes, I am one of those obsessed Ohio State fans who has a history of memorizing the roster and quoting back facts and figures from years gone by as though they were actually important.. )

This team is compromised of players that were on the Ohio State football team between the years of 1997 and 2007 for any length of time. Some of these players were just walk-ons who were terrible and others were hyped and heralded recruits who didn’t pan out on the field. Many of these guys had multiple injuries and a quick end to their careers. As with any post that offers personal opinion, this is fully subjective and debatable.. Which is why I would love to hear any additions or subtractions that other Buckeye football fans seek to offer..

Quarterbacks
Justin Zwick
David Priestly

Justin was heralded as the greatest quarterback to come to Ohio State since Art Schlichter. As any nominal fan of the past 3 years can attest, he was left in the dust by his ignored classmate, Troy Smith. Priestly was a highly recruited guy who got lost on the depth and never saw a meaningful minute on the field.

Running Backs
Sam Maldonado
Lydell Ross
JaJa Riley

For me, Sammy Maldonado is the single largest disappointment of the last 15 years of Ohio State football recruiting. He came in with greater hype than Maurice Clarett and Justin Zwick and never rose above the level of mediocrity before transferring and finishing out his subpar college career at Maryland. Lydell Ross is quite possibly the worst starting running back Ohio State has had in the last 25 years. JaJa Riley was a much-hyped speedster who never did put it all together. He ended up transferring and having a moderately successful career back on the west coast.

Fullback
Nate Stead

Weight room demigod who never did transfer his physical tools to successful play on the field.

Wide Receivers
Reggie Germany
Kenyon Rambo
Ricky Bryant
Angelo Chattams

Wow. Truly, a mind-rattling bunch here. Reggie and Kenyon are on this list because they never did measure up to the hype. Yes, they both started and made significant contributions to the team, but these guys were supposed to be STUDS in the Boston / Glenn / Galloway sense. Ricky Bryant came in as the next Terry Glenn and ended up transferring after a couple disappointing seasons. Angelo Chattams wound up knee deep in legal troubles and then had a career ending injury before he could show his potential.

Tight Ends
R.J. Coleman
Louis Irizarry
Chad Hoobler

All three of these guys were high school studs and can’t miss college prospects. Coleman was moved to the offensive line and never found his way off the second string. Irizarry had the look of a leave-school-early NFL prospect, but that was before he was charged with assault and armed robbery. He served 6 months in jail and is now a senior at some I-AA school in the south. Hoobler was a local boy who was supposed to either be a stud LB or TE, and he ended up being neither. A steady string of injuries combined to end his chances of being a successful college football player.

Offensive Line
Henry Fleming
Tam Hopkins
Scott Kuhnhein
Bryce Bishop
Adam Olds
Ryan Cook

As a group, these young men were ALL big, strong and slow. Pretty typical fare for offensive lineman of the nineties. However, as blocking schemes changed and the necessity grew for slimmer, more agile and athletic lineman, these guys came to be dinosaurs from another era. Had these guys played for Woody Hayes in the ’60s, we may be talking about them as all-time legends, but the game simply changed to the point where big, strong, slow guys have become increasingly irrelevant in favor of big, strong, agile, athletic guys.

Defensive Line
Brandon Maupin
Sian Cotton
Nader Abdullah

Maupin was a man-child to to the tune of 6′6, 350 pounds. Unfortunately, he flunked out of school and never saw the field. Sian Cotton, from all reports, had neither the work ethic nor the diet to maintain the shape and conditioning wherein his talent could shine. To be fair, Nader Abdullah is on this year’s team and still could make a positive impact.. but he has been a huge disappointment so far and I am inclined to think he will continue down that path.

Linebackers
Jason Ott
Reggie Arden
Mike D’Andrea
Pat O’Neil
Marco Cooper

Usually, I try to watch my language while blogging.. but I don’t think any term better describes this group than ‘cluster-fuck’..

’nuff said.

Defensive Backs
Curtis Crosby
Richard McNutt
B.J. Barre
Bam Childress
Bobby Britton
Harlan Jacobs
Leandre Boone
EJ Underwood
Mike Roberts
Curt Lukens
Darius Hiley
Ira Guilford
Shaun Lane

Boy, what a fun group. Crosby, Barre, Childress, Britton, Underwood, Hiley and Guilford all came in as big time prospects who were supposed to be challenging for starting positions right away. Let’s see here.. mediocre, mediocre, switched positions.. still mediocre, mediocre, terrible, flunked out of school.. guess that about does it.

Lest anyone thinks that I am being unnecessarily cruel, I am only making value judgments on these guys as football players, not as people. For all I know, they are all great guys who we should all strive to be like.. except in football.

I’d love to hear if anyone has someone to add or subtract from the list.. There has to be some other rabid fans out there.